please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
