i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
