Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
