I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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