roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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