Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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