The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
