she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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