it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sext me about skeletons
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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