You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
