i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
