My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
