Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
