I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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