I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
