So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
