I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
