Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
