I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
