You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
