I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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