Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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