I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
