Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
