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She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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