we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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