Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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