no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize