if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
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Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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