Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
