i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize