first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
