He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
