Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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