Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize