3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize