Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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