Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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