i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
