im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
