I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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