I've blown a few things in my day
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
