seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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