eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
