i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
