I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
