I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
