Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
