this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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