Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
