It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
