I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
