sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
