Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize