Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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