so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
