drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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