I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
