I have demons in me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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