sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
