He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
