You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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