there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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