I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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