Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
