HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
